Over the years, I’ve collected various quotes from books I’ve read that I found amusing.
Here are some of my favorite humorous sayings and quotes about reading and books.
I hope you enjoy reading them and they make you smile.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx
I can read a book twice as fast as anybody else.
First I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whichever end I like best.
— Gracie Allen
The covers of this book are too far apart.
— Ambrose Bierce
If we didn’t have libraries, many people thirsty for knowledge would dehydrate.
— Megan Jo Tetrick, age 12
No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.
— Author Unknown
Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.
— Kin Hubbard
Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me.
— Anatole France
I was reading a book, “the history of glue”; I couldn’t put it down.
— Tim Vine
Life happened because I turned the pages.
— Alberto Manguel
There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
— Flannery O’Connor
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
— Steven Wright
Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away.
— Clarence Darrow
Never judge a book by its movie.
— J.W. Eagan
There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
— Bertrand Russell
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
— Tom Clancy
A book store is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
— Jerry Seinfield
Books are the blessed chloroform of the mind.
— Robert Chambers
If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.
— Raymond Chandler
I cringe when critics say I’m a master of the popular novel. What’s an unpopular novel?
— Irwin Shaw
If you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
— John Cuthbert Moore-Brabazon
A book may be compared to your neighbor; if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.
— Henry Brooke
Seventy million books in America’s libraries, but the one you want to read is always out.
— Tom Masson
Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
— Bern Williams
No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.
— Robert Byrne
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
— Dorothy Parker
A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you.
— Daniel J. Boorstin
One always tends to over praise a long bookbecause one has got through it.
— E. M. Forster
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
— P.J. O’Rourke
I have only read one book in my life and that is White Fang.
It’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.
— Nancy Mitford
The things I want to know are in books;
my best friend is the man who’ll get me a book I ain’t read.
— Abraham Lincoln
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
— Groucho Marx
A wicked book is the wickeder because it cannot repent.
— English Proverb
I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander.
— Isaac Asimov
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
— Mark Twain
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
— William Westmoreland
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
– Anonymous Teacher
After a youth misspent fishing and playing basketball,
I found reading.
– Nick Lyones
These quotations were collected by Kathleen Hawkins.
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